We're No Angels Read online

  JIM (sotto): What?

  NED (inclines his head, sotto): It's the warden.

  162Point of View: The wardens boat—Day. Through the mist, chugging relentlessly toward them. Prominent on it a heavy- set man in an impresario coat. He carries a riding crop, whips the dogs to silence them.

  162AExterior: Warden's Boat—Dusk.

  WARDEN Point of view of town.

  163Exterior: Town Square—Day.

  Close-up: JIM frightened.

  DEPUTY (offscreen): It's so rare that someone cares, you know, or that you didn't say I was weak, or . . .

  164Angle: The warden's boat reaching the Canadian shore. The dogs leap into the water, dragging the guards with them. JIM is very frightened, starts to rub his back.

  NED: Don't even speak about it, really.

  DEPUTY: And I think I'm gonna tell my wife, just put it all at her feet.

  NED: That's a great idea.

  DEPUTY: And I just wanted to thank you. . . . (Beat.) Can you shake hands with a priest?

  NED: I don't know why not. . . .

  They shake hands.

  DEPUTY: Thank you.

  NED: You're very . . . very . .. (Hands the DEPUTY a Shrine key chain.) Keep on the bright side!

  He makes the sign of the cross to wave the man away. The DEPUTY moves away. The WARDEN and his prison officials in uniform move up toward the bridge. They are met by the SHERIFF. With the WARDEN and the SHERIFF in the background, JIM starts to push toward the border.

  NED: Don't run, don't run. We're okay. Don't run. It's okay.

  The group with the WARDEN and NED and JIM converge on the border from two different directions. NED and JIM get behind a short line of people being examined.

  165Close-up: NED and JIM.

  NED (sotto): It's okay. One more minute and over we go.

  JIM (sotto): I can't go back in the joint.

  NED: You don't have to. Just read the book.

  NED looks back surreptitiously at the WARDEN and the SHERIFF.

  166Exterior: Canadian Customs/Border—Day.

  Point of View: The group with the WARDEN coming closer. HOLD.

  167Exterior: U.S. Customs/Border—Day.

  Close-up: NED.

  He is sweating, very nervous.

  BORDER GUARD (offscreen): Father, Father, you can come up here.

  168Angle: The line at the border. NED and JIM fourth and fifth in the line. The BORDER GUARD is speaking to them.

  BORDER GUARD: Gentlemen, it's all right. Folks, let ‘em pass, please.

  The two convicts move to the front of the line.

  BORDER GUARD: Looking forward to the Procession.

  NED and JIM, anxious, right at the border.

  NED: Aren't we all.

  BORDER GUARD (pointing to the DEPUTY): Friend tells me you folks are the authors of some pretty deep books.

  NED: Well, you know, depends on your taste.

  BORDER GUARD: Like to read ‘em, if I could, I think of myself as a good Catholic.

  NED: We'll send you some.

  BORDER GUARD: Yep. Did a little writing myself, once.

  NED: Did you, now.

  BORDER GUARD: No luck selling it, though, I don't suppose you'd . . .

  NED: Oh, my goodness . . . did we say our silent prayer . . . ?

  JIM shakes his head no.

  NED (to BORDER GUARD): . . . little busy right now . . .

  BORDER GUARD: Yes, I understand . . . God bless . . .

  He waves them through. NED looks back over his shoulder.

  169Exterior: Canadian Customs/Border—Day.

  Point of View: The SHERIFF, the WARDEN, and the prison guards. The WARDEN holds up three gold coins.

  WARDEN: . . . instruct my men to shoot on sight, or at my command. One hundred dollars on the head of each man. Dead.

  SHERIFF: Um-hum . . .

  WARDEN: . . . one hundred dollars—gold.

  SHERIFF: Well, you give us the sign. . . .

  170Exterior: Bridge—Day.

  Angle: NED and JIM start across the bridge. We hear:

  MOLLY (offscreen): You didn't answer my question. . . ? Father? Father?

  171Exterior: Bridge—Day.

  Angle: MOLLY carrying a basket of laundry, her LITTLE GIRL behind her, stopping the two.

  MOLLY: You didn't answer my question. Is your Shrine going to cure my little girl . . . ? You told me to be true. I thought about it, and I thought I would be true. I'd be glad to be true. What's in it for me? You understand? If I “believe . . .”?

  NED: I can't talk to you now.

  MOLLY: Well, you could talk to me before, when all you had was “shame” and all. Why can't you talk “now"? Why can't you talk “now"?

  NED: You're making a scene. . . .

  MOLLY: What's that compared to eternal life . . . ?

  NED: Yeah, you got a lot of spunk, now just get out of here, will ya, babe . . . ?

  MOLLY: Screw you, Your Holiness. You think I didn't see the way you looked at me, I said that I'd go to bed with you . . . ?

  NED (sotto): Will you for chrissakes shut up?

  MOLLY: What are you, too scared or too cheap! If God really made the world, he should of put some men in it. . . .

  NED looks at the WARDEN.

  172Point of View: The WARDEN talking to the SHERIFF.

  WARDEN: . . . got to be in this area, or they would have frozen in the woods. We've got the bridge locked up, tonight we go house to house, all the residents, bring out anybody who's a stranger. Weather's on our side. We'll find ‘em. . . .

  MOLLY (offscreen): You want to answer my question, Father . . . ?

  173Angle: NED draws MOLLY aside. JIM follows. The line moves up. CAMERA MOVES IN on the group of NED, MOLLY, and JIM.

  NED: I can't talk to you now.

  MOLLY: You want to lead us to the Shrine, and wash away our sins? I'm ready to change. . . .

  NED looks over his shoulder. The WARDEN and the SHERIFF have taken up positions at the bridge.

  174Close-up: NED. He sighs.

  175Angle: NED and JIM dejected.

  NED (softly): Damn you.

  MOLLY: I'm already damned, Father, I'm damned to hell for adultery. I'm damned for eternity. What's a little rudeness going to get me? Two more weeks . . . ?

  She starts away down the street with her washing, followed by her LITTLE GIRL. NED and JIM walking at her side.

  176Close-up: NED and JIM.

  MOLLY (offscreen): That's what I want to know. Everybody's saying, how I got to live my life. Eat first, that's what I say. Eat first, then talk about what's right and wrong.

  JIM looks back over his shoulder.

  177Point of View: The border. The SHERIFF and the WARDEN screening the travelers.

  WARDEN: Well, if they're down here, let's find ‘em. I say a house-to-house search.

  178Exterior: Town Square—Dusk.

  Angle: NED and JIM retreating, MOLLY following.

  MOLLY: Eat first, and then talk about what's a crime. You had no business to come to my room. Is that the act of a man . . . ?

  179Angle: The group stop by the gazebo.

  NED: Hey, hey, who are you? You don't know what my life is. Whyn't you live for yourself? Whyn't you go live your own life . . . ?

  MOLLY: Why don't you? Who the hell are you to talk to me? Why are you stuck up in a monastery? Watch my little girl.

  MOLLY takes her basket of washing and mounts the steps to the house, leaving JIM and NED alone with the GIRL. Beat. NED looks back toward the bridge.

  180Exterior: Bridge—Dusk.

  Point of View: The WARDEN, berating the SHERIFF on the bridge.

  WARDEN: Every house. Clear it out, send the dogs in . . . smoke ‘em out. . . .

  SHERIFF: Well, people live here.

  WARDEN: I don't give a goddamn, they can live here when those men are dead.

  181Exterior: Town Square—Gazebo—Dusk.

  Angle: NED and JIM with the LITTLE GIRL.

  NED: All
right . . . how do we get past the warden?

  JIM motions “not in front of the little girl.”

  NED: She's deaf.

  JIM looks down at her.

  182Angle: The LITTLE GIRL.

  NED (offscreen): Okay, okay. We can do this. We can do this. We need a little thought.

  183Angle: JIM and the LITTLE GIRL. He caresses her head; she looks up.

  NED (offscreen): We need a plan and we're not going to panic.

  184Angle: The LITTLE GIRL looks up at JIM, behind whom is a poster of the convicts.

  185Exterior: Town Square/Bridge—Dusk (starts snowing).

  Angle: The bridge. The WARDEN walking down toward them; with him militiamen and dogs, the SHERIFF following.

  SHERIFF: We have a populace.

  WARDEN: You don't have a populace, Sheriff. When I'm gone, you have a populace. All you have now is a bunch of suspects.

  SHERIFF: All I'm saying now is go easy.

  WARDEN: Easy? You've got the wrong man.

  186Angle: The two convicts. They look from the approaching WARDEN to the house. MOLLY is coming down the steps. NED and JIM start down the street, away from the WARDEN. The LITTLE GIRL looks after them.

  187Exterior: Town Street-Dusk.

  Angle: NED and JIM walk in the street. It is starting to snow heavily.

  NED: We've been in tougher spots than this before.

  JIM looks behind him.

  188Exterior: Town Square—Dusk (snowing).

  Angle: The WARDEN, SHERIFF, militiamen, and dogs, fanning out.

  WARDEN: Let's start right here ‘n’ work down the hill.

  SHERIFF: Here? Warden, there's nobody here but the monks.

  WARDEN: Yes? Well, why don't we make sure . . . ?

  189Exterior: Blacksmith Shop—Night (snowing).

  Angle: JIM steers NED off a side street, quickly. JIM looks down, panting, trying to catch his breath.

  JIM: Uh-ho . . .

  190Point of View: The ground—Night (snowing). On the ground in the tracks in the snow, imprinted by the soles of their shoes, we read, “Property of the State Prison System.”

  191Angle: JIM and NED take off their shoes, start to walk on the cold earth. As they hurry down the street, they meet the YOUNG MONK. The YOUNG MONK shows them the clothespin he wears on his neck.

  YOUNG MONK: Good luck on the lottery tonight.

  JIM: Uh-huh.

  YOUNG MONK: The drawing's after vespers. It's a long shot, but “You never know.”

  JIM: Yeah, that's the truth.

  They look back.

  192Exterior: Town Square—Night (snowing).

  Point of View: A deputy holding the bloodhounds, rounding the corner. The bloodhounds sniffing.

  193Exterior: Monastery—Night (snowing).

  Angle: JIM and NED mount the steps of the monastery.

  YOUNG MONK: You aren't wearing your shoes.

  JIM: It brings us closer to the earth.

  JIM and NED look around, then enter the building. The YOUNG MONK shakes his head in admiration and bends down, begins to remove his shoes.

  194Interior: Monastery Chapel—Night.

  The two in the darkened church, trying to catch their breath. The two look around.

  195Point of View: Panorama of the church interior. It STOPS on the Shrine of the Madonna.

  196Angle: The two convicts look up at the Shrine.

  JIM: This is the statue that cries.

  NED: I guess it is.

  JIM: And what does it do? It grants wishes.

  NED: Hmmm.

  JIM: I know what I'd wish for, right now, I'd wish for two new pairs of shoes.

  We hear the SOUND of a door opening. The two cower, move behind a pillar.

  197Point of View: A sliding door into a robing room. A monk leaving the robing room with piles of vestments; beyond, shelves full of clothes.

  198Interior: Robing Room—Night.

  Angle: The two convicts shrug, move into the robing room. They find a rack of shoes. They sit, start trying on the shoes. Beat.

  JIM: I say we try the river tonight, Ned.

  NED: What do we do, walk on the water?

  JIM: Steal a boat. . . ?

  NED: They got the waterfront sewed tighter than a football.

  JIM: Hell, whaddaya, whaddaya, Neddy. We're not going back. Bob, Bobby got across. . . .

  NED: We don't know that he got across.

  JIM: We got to believe that, Ned. We got to.

  NED: We do?

  JIM: Yeah.

  NED: Why?

  Beat.

  JIM: Because if we don't, what will we believe . . . ?

  We hear the SOUNDS of the WARDEN shouting commands to his men. NED goes to the window. Looks out.

  199Exterior: Town Street—Night.

  Point of View: The WARDEN, dogs, and men.

  WARDEN: You got the convicts’ clothing? We're going house to house ‘n’ we're starting here. Get the dogs.

  200Interior: Robing Room—Night.

  NED shakes his head sadly. SOUND of bells. He looks back at JIM, who is at the door, about to leave.

  NED: Where are you going?

  JIM: I'm going to prayers and dinner.

  Beat. NED nods. JIM exits. NED is alone for a moment. He sighs. He starts out of the robing room.

  201Point of View: The Madonna looking down.

  202Angle: NED looks at the Madonna, looks out the window.

  203Exterior: Town Street—Night (snowing).

  Point of View: The WARDEN and deputies and dogs going door to door.

  204Interior: Monastery—Chapel—Night.

  Angle: NED at the foot of the statue, looks up.

  NED (very softly): I never thought I'm such a bad man. (Pause.) If I've been wrong, I'm sorry. (Pause.) Please don't let them take me back. . . .

  He hangs his head. Beat. We hear the SOUND of a raindrop. Beat. ANOTHER. NED holds out his palm. Raindrops fall slowly in his palm. NED looks up.

  205Point of View: The Madonna's face. She is crying. Offscreen: the BARK of dogs, growing louder.

  206Close-up: NED looking at the Madonna. Beat. Offscreen: BARKING DOGS.

  FATHER LEVESQUE (offscreen): And, of course, it's just a hole in the roof.

  207Angle: NED looks around, at FATHER LEVESQUE, who is standing in front of the statue, a large fat cat in his arms.

  NED: Hello, Father.

  FATHER LEVESQUE: That's the wonderful thing about what you have written, you and your friend. (Beat.) That we never forget that it's simply a hole in the roof.

  FATHER LEVESQUE AND THEN NED LOOK UP.

  208Point of View: The hole in the roof—Night. The water dripping on the head of the Madonna.

  FATHER LEVESQUE (offscreen): That's why we were so glad that you could come.

  209Angle: FATHER LEVESQUE and NED. The SOUND of dogs barking, growing louder. The cat leaps from FATHER LEVESQUE‘s arms and darts down the aisle. NED watches it go.

  FATHER LEVESQUE: Your notion of the real meaning of a miracle. Well. . . (He starts to move off) I just wanted to thank you. . . . I'm sorry if I disturbed you.

  210Exterior: Monastery—Night (snowing).

  The cat darts across the snow. The dogs howl and follow, dragging the deputies with them.

  211Interior: Monastery—Chapel—Night.

  NED: Uh-huh, yeah, I was just. . .

  Beat.

  FATHER LEVESQUE (smiling): The word you're looking for is “praying,” I believe.

  Beat. FATHER LEVESQUE comes over and puts his arm on NED‘s shoulders.

  FATHER LEVESQUE: It's not easy to be a priest. Yes. I know. (Beat.) It's all right, my son.

  NED: Sometimes . . .

  FATHER LEVESQUE (nodding): Yes.

  NED: Sometimes you just need help.

  FATHER LEVESQUE: Yes.

  NED: . . . and there is no help.

  FATHER LEVESQUE: Did you ask her?

  NED: I suppose I did.

  FATHER LEVESQUE: For what?


  NED: For help to get from one place to another.

  FATHER LEVESQUE: Well . . .

  He makes the sign of the cross, starts to move off.

  FATHER LEVESQUE: . . . Will you be marching in the Procession tomorrow . . . ?

  NED (sighs): No, Father . . . (Pause.) In truth, I have other things to do.

  FATHER LEVESQUE: I understand. (Smiles.) And it's a long walk into Canada.

  Beat.

  NED: Into Canada . . . ?

  FATHER LEVESQUE: It's a long walk all the way with the Shrine, into Canada.

  NED: Oh, are we still doing that?

  FATHER LEVESQUE: What?

  NED: Carrying it, the, into Canada . . . ?

  FATHER LEVESQUE (laughs): Well, yes, that's right. We're still doing it! Right across the bridge, and to our sister church, on the Canadian side.

  FATHER LEVESQUE moves off. NED looks up at the Madonna.

  212Point of View: The face of the Madonna, a very slight smile on her face.

  213Exterior: Monastery—Day.

  JIM comes out of the church, looks around.

  214Exterior: Sawmill—Day.

  The lumber mill carriage shed of the church. The monks are building the finishing touches on the effigy of the Virgin, which will, when Bob gets shot, be the thing where Jim goes to steal the dollar bills, and, again, in which Bob will hide. The effigy should be large, about ten feet tall, and should have a niche in it in which the actual Weeping Virgin should be placed. The SOUND of hammering, a float being constructed in the background. A MONK comes into the FRAME.

  MONK: Excuse me, Father.

  215Angle: JIM sits on a pile of planks, looking out over the river. The MONK asking him to move. JIM shifts over; CAMERA FOLLOWS him. He moves to one side, starts to sit down. Sees something off to his side . . . the wanted poster. JIM moves again.

  CAMERA FOLLOWS him outside, where he sits on a fence.

  216Point of View: The far side of the river.

  217Angle: JIM sitting, looking; the SOUND of hammering. He flinches with each stroke of the hammer. He gingerly touches his back.

  JIM (sotto): I gotta get over to the other side.

  YOUNG MONK: Surely it's not time yet. . . .

  JIM turns, uncomprehending.

  YOUNG MONK: Father? Surely it's not up to us when we go?

  JIM looks at him for a moment. Beat.

  JIM: You ever been helpless?

  Pause.

  YOUNG MONK: Certainly.

  JIM: Whaddaya do about it?

  Pause.

  Young Monk: Pray.

  218 JIM thinks about this for a moment.