The Anarchist Read online

  CATHY: Yes. I said that.

  ANN: Even Life.

  CATHY: I said it.

  ANN: Did you believe it?

  (Pause.)

  CATHY: People change.

  ANN: Of course.

  CATHY: Else . . .

  ANN: But did you believe it then?

  CATHY: What I did . . .

  ANN: Irrespective, of what you did. Tell me. Did you believe it? Truly?

  CATHY: I . . .

  ANN: That nothing was the property of the individual?

  CATHY: I don’t remember.

  (Pause.)

  ANN: Do you know, I read the . . . “Pamphlet”?

  CATHY: From Algeria.

  ANN: “Feuilleton.” Pamphlet?

  CATHY: Pamphlet. Or leaflet.

  ANN: I read it again.

  CATHY: Recently.

  ANN: I did.

  CATHY: I’m surprised one can still find it.

  ANN: No. It’s still read. Not, perhaps, as it was at the time. Not quite so popular, perhaps. And they still reproduce the Poster.

  CATHY: Of Guillaume.

  ANN: Though without the quote. Which is, I think, a shame.

  CATHY: Why a shame?

  ANN: And the “Pamphlet.” In anthologies. You must know it.

  CATHY: How would I know it?

  ANN: The . . . the “statements,” your . . .

  CATHY: They wouldn’t allow the book here.

  ANN: No, your “estate” . . . your “royalties” . . .

  CATHY: No. I never held the copyright.

  ANN: Of course. No. It was for “the People.”

  CATHY: That’s right. Why is it a shame that the quote is not printed on the poster?

  ANN: As it might reveal the criminality of worshipping the man.

  CATHY: Yes. That’s correct.

  ANN: And yet, you worshipped him.

  CATHY: I did. I was wrong. (Pause) I was infatuated with him. Many were.

  ANN: Why?

  CATHY: Because, in truth: he freed them. That he freed them from those things to which they should perhaps be bound is, you’re correct, a different question. The young are uncertain. They’re easily frightened. He set them free. And they were grateful. (Pause) “. . . he set the people free.”

  ANN: How are “the People” different from the State?

  CATHY: Well, that’s the province of philosophy.

  ANN: You read philosophy.

  CATHY: . . . at school.

  ANN: No, you were asked. At the time of your arrest, to describe yourself, and you said “a philosopher.”

  CATHY: . . . all right.

  ANN: And on your . . . (She looks through papers on her desk) On your Visa application, in French, Profession: “Philosophe.” You were quite enamored of the French.

  CATHY: We all were.

  (Pause.)

  ANN: He was your lover.

  CATHY: He was very beautiful. That’s true. Like a beautiful woman, he had that power. You’ve seen it. One sees it time to time.

  (Pause.)

  ANN: Are you tired?

  CATHY: No. I’m well.

  ANN: You said you were well. But the doctor reports lately you’ve complained of being tired.

  CATHY: . . . I’m not tired.

  ANN: You said you . . . (Takes a file and reads it) “‘Felt an illness coming on.’ Question: ‘Can you say its symptoms?’ Answer: ‘I don’t know. I just feel tired.’”

  CATHY: Many people feel that. It’s an aspect of age. It has a name.

  ANN (Reads): “All things have a name. Or they would not exist in our consciousness. If they exist without a name, then we must name them. At whatever cost.” Who wrote that?

  CATHY: Yes. I wrote it.

  ANN: What does it mean?

  CATHY: Youth is foolish. Youth can and must be controlled. I’ve said that.

  ANN: For good or ill.

  CATHY: As most things.

  ANN: And “Youth Unfettered . . .”

  CATHY: Yes, all right.

  ANN: Finish it. “Youth Unfettered . . .”

  CATHY: I do not deny. I’ve never denied. That I said or that I did those things. Never. You. As much as I. Have perhaps done things. In your life. Which you regret.

  ANN: What have I done?

  CATHY: I don’t know. You know. Your actions could not have been as bad as mine. I would not think. I don’t know what they were.

  ANN: You say mine could not have been as bad as yours.

  CATHY: Many have, aggrandized this or that minor act, disloyalty, desertion, and thought these fantasies were . . .

  ANN: . . . fantasies . . .

  CATHY: Unforgivable. And scourged themselves. Like the nun

  with sexual thoughts. But fantasy is not sin.

  ANN: . . . you . . .

  CATHY: But I have actually sinned. And have been punished for it.

  ANN: And does that cleanse you?

  CATHY: The punishment? No.

  ANN: What could cleanse you?

  CATHY: Nothing but Christ.

  (The phone rings.)

  ANN (Into the phone): Yes? No, I know they’re here. (Pause) No. I’ll tell you.

  (She hangs up. Pause.)

  CATHY: I’m sorry. That I am taking up so much of your time. And I thank you for your time.

  ANN: You’re quite welcome. (Pause) You said that Christ would cleanse you.

  CATHY: Christ has cleansed me.

  ANN: How?

  CATHY: Truly?

  ANN: Yes. How?

  CATHY: Through His Blood, which means, through repentance.

  ANN: With respect. How would one credit it?

  CATHY: I did not ask you to credit it.

  ANN: For, again with respect, one often hears the story . . .

  CATHY: Yes, I understand . . .

  ANN: Repeated here . . .

  CATHY: I don’t ask you to credit it.

  ANN: But you brought it up.

  CATHY: In answer to your question.

  ANN: You wrote that you adore your Savior.

  CATHY: You’d be within your right to doubt it.

  ANN: Would I?

  CATHY: As you say, it’s a common ruse.

  ANN: But I might credit it because of your book?

  CATHY: You might.

  ANN: What would impede me?

  CATHY: If the book were written to impress. Or to delude. Or . . .

  ANN: . . . yes?

  CATHY: Or you might credit it because of my behavior. Because of my acts while here.

  ANN: What if they were done to impress?

  CATHY: What if the actions of Saints were done to impress? We don’t know their motives. Or from delusion. The Prophets were demonstrably mad.

  ANN: They were Mad?

  CATHY: They’d seen God.

  ANN: Have you seen God?

  CATHY: I would like to see my father.

  ANN: Have you seen God?

  CATHY: Your question is if I am mad? . . . Because I found some understanding.

  ANN: All right that . . .?

  CATHY: That however much we suffer. We could not suffer as completely as He.

  ANN: As Jesus.

  CATHY: Yes.

  ANN: And is that “Finding God”?

  CATHY: I don’t know if it’s finding God. But I know it’s the meaning of The Christ. (Pause) I would like to see my father.

  ANN: I know. He’s unwell.

  Cathy: He’s dying.

  ANN: Yes. It’s been in the press.

  CATHY: I would like to talk to him.

  ANN: What would Mrs. Anderson say?

  CATHY: Is that important?

  ANN: What would she say?

  CATHY: Is she here?

  ANN: Of course.

  CATHY: How is she?

  ANN: What would she say to your request?

  CATHY: We know what she’d say.

  ANN: And is she incorrect?

  (Pause.)

  You say that you’d like to see
your father.

  CATHY: Yes.

  ANN: After all this time.

  CATHY: I’d like to talk with him.

  ANN: About what?

  CATHY: About God.

  ANN: And would you bring him your manuscript?

  CATHY: No.

  ANN: Why?

  CATHY: I believe it would upset him.

  ANN: Why?

  CATHY: My father’s a Jew.

  (Pause.)

  ANN: Would he think it Heresy?

  CATHY: Well, it might be, to his mind, just the one more crime.

  ANN: To have changed your “covenant.”

  CATHY: That’s right.

  ANN: Is it a crime?

  CATHY: No. People change.

  ANN: And you want to talk to him about God.

  CATHY: I want to . . . I want, no.

  ANN: You said you want to talk to him about God.

  CATHY: I want him to experience Grace.

  ANN: Through Christ.

  CATHY: No, he won’t embrace Christ.

  ANN: Then how would you enable him to Experience Grace? Believing as you do? (Pause) You’re tired.

  CATHY: Yes.

  ANN (Reads from a file): You didn’t have breakfast.

  CATHY: They offered it to me.

  ANN: Would you like me to get something . . .?

  (She picks up the phone.)

  CATHY: I want to see my father. To allow him to Forgive me.

  ANN (Pause; puts the phone down): Is it your intention to publish the book?

  CATHY: If I were to be allowed. Or of course . . .

  ANN: Yes?

  CATHY: If I were released.

  ANN: In which case . . .?

  CATHY: I would need no permission.

  (Pause.)

  ANN: The royalties . . .

  CATHY: The royalties, would, under the law, still accrue to the

  Families. If I . . . if I remained . . .

  ANN: And if you were released?

  CATHY: After my father’s death, I’m going to assign them the money.

  ANN: The royalties?

  CATHY: No. My inheritance.

  ANN: You’re going to give them part of your inheritance?

  CATHY: No. All of it.

  (Pause.)

  ANN: That’s an extraordinary sum of money.

  CATHY: That’s right.

  ANN: Does it concern you that the Board might consider that a sort of bribe.

  CATHY: Perhaps it is.

  ANN: And is it?

  CATHY: My motives are sufficiently opaque to me. I doubt the Board can see them clearly.

  ANN: I believe the Board might consider that a bribe.

  CATHY: Then don’t tell them. I’m not telling the Board. I’m telling you.

  ANN: To influence my decision?

  CATHY: Can you conceive of any thing that one in my position might do with a different motive? (Pause) I’m an old woman. I would like to be released.

  ANN: I understand. Upon what grounds?

  CATHY: Would you mock me for suggesting “kindness.”

  ANN: “Kindness to the wicked is cruelty to the Just.” Where is that written?

  CATHY: I don’t know.

  ANN: It’s in the Bible. Isn’t it?

  CATHY: I . . .

  ANN: It’s in Proverbs.

  CATHY: I don’t know . . .

  ANN (Looking at files): But you studied The Bible. You’re on record. As having requested a copy. A, a Bible. Some time ago. (Reads) “A Concordance Bible” . . . to replace . . .

  CATHY: Yes. The other was lost.

  ANN: To “continue your studies.” It was . . .

  CATHY: . . . yes.

  ANN (Checks file): “Lost, misplaced, or stolen.” In your last move.

  CATHY: Who would steal a religious book?

  ANN: Someone might. With your notes. And your name in it.

  CATHY: Why?

  ANN: To sell it. (Pause) For quite a bit of money.

  (Ann takes the Bible from her briefcase and hands it to Cathy.)

  “A Concordance Bible.”

  CATHY: Yes. I remember it. At the beginning.

  ANN: You may keep it.

  CATHY: I remember it. Thank you.

  ANN: You’re welcome.

  CATHY: How . . .?

  ANN: It was advertised. In a rare book catalog. And it was purchased.

  CATHY: . . . yes?

  ANN: For quite a lot of money. And it came to the notice of the Board.

  CATHY: What happened to the money?

  ANN: What do you think?

  CATHY: It went to the Officer’s family?

  ANN: Eventually. That’s correct.

  (Pause.)

  CATHY: Who stole it?

  ANN: I am not permitted to “discuss a criminal enterprise” with you. Isn’t it funny?

  CATHY: And who bought it?

  ANN: I . . .

  CATHY: At the auction. Was it an auction?

  ANN: Yes.

  CATHY: Whoever bought it. His money. Was it returned to him?

  ANN: No.

  CATHY: Why?

  ANN: As he was party to a crime.

  CATHY: But perhaps he didn’t know the book was stolen.

  ANN: And perhaps he did.

  CATHY: But that seems harsh.

  ANN: In any case . . .

  CATHY: If he didn’t know the book was stolen, might the State return the money to him?

  ANN: I don’t know the law. Do you recall the Notations? (Reads aloud) “While the unafflicted may toy with an entertaining doubt, The Blind must believe the number of steps in the staircase Cannot Vary.”

  CATHY: Oh, my, and someone made a lot of money. Selling that.

  ANN: Who are the unafflicted?

  CATHY: I’m not sure.

  ANN: Who are The Blind?

  CATHY: I’m not sure that I wrote it.

  ANN: But who could have written it?

  CATHY: Someone who, who took it from me.

  ANN: The “thief,” someone who robs is called a “thief.”

  CATHY: Yes. They’re called a thief. But it seems harsh. That someone who may have purchased it in good faith should suffer.

  ANN: I don’t know the law.

  CATHY: The officer’s family are here?

  ANN: That’s right.

  CATHY: I always assume that they are. How are they?

  ANN: As you might expect.

  CATHY: I always picture them. As they were then. As much as I know that they aren’t. Do you know? I saw the newspapers. After one of our meetings. Eight or nine years ago? Showing my photo. From the time at the Apartment. And I thought, “Oh, poor defrauded reading public. Beautiful, young totem. What can have become of her?”

  ANN: They let you read the Papers?

  CATHY: Well, sometimes the rules need interpretation.

  ANN: For?

  CATHY: The new Guards. And the new Girls. To whom would they look for guidance?

  ANN: And you guide them.

  CATHY: If I can.

  ANN: And do you Love them?

  CATHY: Do I have sex with them?

  ANN: Yes.

  (Pause.)

  CATHY: Do you know, I’ve always felt your thoughts were fixed in adolescence.

  ANN: How so?

  CATHY: On the Sin and Wonder of your body.

  ANN: Is that adolescence?

  CATHY: Oh yes. But the body grows old. And an appropriate notice of it would lead us to finish with Sin and to think on death. And what is beyond death.

  ANN: What is beyond death?

  CATHY: Christ. And the potential of redemption. No, of course I loved them. As they loved me. Why should they not? That’s a question for you. Ann. But it begins to come back. Doesn’t it? When one is being set free?

  ANN: . . . it begins . . .?

  CATHY: When our possessions are few. And we review our thoughts.

  ANN: And what do we find?

  CATHY: Regret.

  (Pause.)


  ANN: What do I regret?

  CATHY: Would you like to tell me?

  ANN: Do I know?

  CATHY: You said: “Was he your lover?” You said: “Did the women love you?” After all this time . . . (Pause) You could have had any woman here that you wanted.

  ANN: It doesn’t escape you that would have meant breaking my oath.

  CATHY: None the less

  ANN: Do I lack Sex?

  CATHY: You lack something. Which is equal. In your mind. To the lack of sex. And, so, is signalized by it. And if you name it . . .

  ANN: When did you take to psychiatry? . . .

  CATHY: In Algeria, I was troubled. Guillaume asked me. And I said, “No, I don’t know what’s troubling me.” He said, “If you did, what would it be?”

  ANN: And so? . . .

  CATHY: And so, Ann? So I told him.

  ANN: Be? . . .

  CATHY: Because I didn’t want to be a coward.

  ANN: . . . to be a coward.

  CATHY: No. I knew I was a coward. But I wanted to be Brave.

  ANN: And what was it that troubled you?

  CATHY: What do you think?

  ANN: If it were “conscience” why would overcoming it have been an act of courage?

  (Pause.)

  CATHY: Can people change?

  ANN: I don’t know.

  CATHY: If they had changed, could you recognize it? (Pause) If there were any thing that I could do for you. I’d do it. (Pause) If it were this close. And you only had to ask for it. Because, that’s what he had correct, do you see? (Pause) That it’s always close . . . How do we know it is Redemption? Because it begins with Shame. That’s true, Ann. That’s what it means to pray. It means to confess. It’s the worst pain. Our Savior Himself, Ann, needed help to bear the Cross.

  ANN: I . . .

  CATHY: But he did bear it, Ann. He did. Though terrified. And thought himself forsaken. Like you. (Pause) Like me.

  ANN: I . . .

  (Ann starts to speak. The phone rings. It rings again. Ann answers it.)

  (Into the phone) Yes? No, presently. Please, please apologize to the . . . and make them comfortable. (She hangs up) Well.

  (Pause.)

  CATHY: Oh. (Pause) Then, are we done? . . .

  (Ann checks her notes.)

  ANN: Who are “the People”?

  CATHY: Ann, you know who the people are.

  ANN: Am I one of them?

  CATHY: Say it was written by another woman.

  ANN: The Speech?

  CATHY: Yes.

  ANN: And the other woman was you?