We're No Angels Page 7

  BOB: Whaddaya, nuts, Ned? What are you, you're a doctor, then you're a priest. Now . . . (He coughs.) Very good. Very good, Neddy. How do we get out of here . . . ?

  NED: Why'd you have to shoot that deputy, Bob . . . ?

  BOB: Cut the comedy, you would've done it, too. I'm not gonna ask you how you got the priest togs, that's fine. Just tell me how we get out of here.

  NED: Uh-huh. (Getting up.) I'm sorry for you, Bob. . . .

  BOB: You're what?

  NED: That you stand the gaff for the men you shot. I'm so sorry. (Exiting.) If there's anything I can do to make you more comfortable . . .

  BOB: Neddy, you're joking with me.

  NED (holds up his hands): What can I do, Bob . . . ?

  Sound Effects: The corridor door opening.

  NED looks up.

  249Point of View: Through the bars. It is the WARDEN. He comes closer to the bars.

  250Angle: NED turns his head away from the WARDEN, who comes close to the bars.

  WARDEN: Well, Bob. Doc says you'll live long enough for us to hang you . . . escape from prison, murder of two guards, murderous assault on an officer . . . (He nods to NED.) Father . . . Now you finish up, I'm coming back in here, five minutes, and I want you to tell us where the other two men are. . . .

  SOUND of the door closing behind the warden.

  251Angle: NED and BOB. Beat.

  BOB: That's right. . . .

  BOB looks meaningfully at NED.

  NED: What can I do, Bob, what can I do to get you out of here. . . ?

  BOB: I don't know, Ned, but you better do it. (Beat.) Hey? Or I turn you over to the warden there. . . .

  NED: You'd send us back inside?

  BOB: Inside, hey, Ned; you know if I rat you out, we all hang for the guards we shot. . . .

  NED: You shot the guards, Bob.

  BOB: I think not, Ned, I think you shot ‘em and I think that's my dying confession. (He coughs, rises up on one elbow.) Now, whaddaya gonna do, to help me get across that border?

  Sound Effects: The door opening.

  BOB lifts his head to see the SHERIFF and the WARDEN in the door.

  SHERIFF: Father, you about done . . . ?

  NED gets up, looks out of the window.

  252Exterior: Town Square—Day.

  Point of View: Outside. The Procession forming in the town square by the gazebo.

  253Interior: Town Hall—Jail Cell—Day.

  Angle: BOB and NED. NED wipes his forehead.

  254Exterior: Town Square—Day.

  JIM is waiting for NED. The Procession of the Shrine forming in the background. The TRANSLATOR and BISHOP come up to him. The YUGOSLAV PRIEST speaks and the TRANSLATOR translates.

  TRANSLATOR: He says your understanding of the Manichaean heresy is populist and limited.

  JIM: Uh-huh.

  TRANSLATOR: He would invite you to read his book upon the subject, but unfortunately, it does not exist in English.

  JIM: Yeah, that's tough.

  FATHER LEVESQUE comes to the head of the stairs, KNOCKS. His staff is on the ground, the assembled priests, monks, etc. JIM looks around. The band starts to PLAY.

  JIM (to himself): Oh, hell. . .

  TRANSLATOR: Here we go!

  JIM: Yeah.

  255Exterior: Town Hall—Balcony—Day.

  Interior.

  We hear the MUSIC from the beginning of the Procession. NED is seen coming out of the cellblock. In the office area of the jail the WARDEN, and the SHERIFF, and several guards are confabbing, their backs to NED.

  SHERIFF (to WARDEN): The Feast of St. Ann, they take the Madonna, belongs jointly to us and sister parish ‘crost the river, in Canada, the priests walk it over there. . . .

  They become aware of NED.

  NED: I believe he's dying.

  WARDEN: Best thing in the world for ‘em. The swine just shot a police officer.

  NED: I'm going back, he's asked for another priest to administer the last rites. . . .

  WARDEN: One down and two to go.

  NED moves out of the jail. CAMERA FOLLOWS.

  SHERIFF: Where the hell d'you think those other two ones are. . . ?

  WARDEN: Oh, well find ‘em. Don't you worry.

  256Exterior: Town Square—Gazebo—Day.

  The priests, forming in the square, looking up at FATHER LEVESQUE and the Madonna. FATHER LEVESQUE starts praying in Latin, and the crowd answers. The YUGOSLAV PRIEST smiles at JIM, who tries to mouth some Latin words as he looks around.

  257Angle: NED pushes through the crowd. CAMERA MOVES with him as he looks for JIM. He spots him and comes over to him.

  258Angle—Close-up: The two of them whisper to each other under the guise of giving the antiphonal responses.

  JIM: I couldn't get the hundred bucks. I'm . . . where the hell have you been?

  NED: Bobby's in the slammer.

  JIM: What?

  NED: He's in the jail. He shot a cop, and they shot him.

  JIM: Yeah? They got him. Yeah?

  NED: Now lookit, he saw me. He knows we're here. He's going to . . .

  The YOUNG MONK goes by, carrying a large fishbowl.

  YOUNG MONK: Evening, Father . . .

  JIM: Hiya.

  NED: He says he's going to rat us out. We have to help him escape. (Pause.) We have to take him with us.

  JIM: I don't get it. He said he'd rat us out?

  NED: Yeah.

  JIM: Well, well, well, let ‘em rot in there. . . .

  NED: I'm way ahead of you.

  He turns JIM around and points him toward the jail.

  259Interior/Exterior: Town Hall—Jail Cell Window—Day.

  Point of View: BOB looking at them from the jail cell window.

  NED (offscreen): He says either he sees us coming back to save him, or he blows the whistle, before we can get across. He's giving us five minutes.

  JIM: And how do we get across . . . ?

  NED: I have no idea.

  260Angle: Father Levesque.

  FATHER LEVESQUE: Before we begin the Procession, would anyone who has a special plea for the intercession of the Virgin, please come to my left?

  261Angle: NED and JIM look over at MOLLY, who is standing, obstinate, with her LITTLE GIRL.

  262Point of View: MOLLY holding her LITTLE GIRL by the hand. MOLLY mimes “Have you got the money . . . ?”

  263Angle: NED shakes his head, slowly, no, then mimes “Please. . . . “

  264Angle: MOLLY shakes her head: “Not a chance . . . “

  265Angle: NED and JIM.

  NED: We're just going to have to walk in, try to waltz him out, dress him like a priest, something. . . .

  FATHER LEVESQUE (offscreen): And now, as is traditional. At this time before our Procession, we have the traditional drawing of our lottery.

  266Angle: The YOUNG MONK at the top of the stairs, bearing the fishbowl, puts it on the table next to FATHER LEVESQUE, who motions that he should draw the ticket.

  FATHER LEVESQUE: And I know how eagerly you, my brothers in Christ, have waited to see who shall receive this reward and this honor.

  The YOUNG MONK reaches in and draws a ticket. He hands it to FATHER LEVESQUE, who reads it.

  FATHER LEVESQUE: And I, oh, I call up here to stand beside me, Father Brown!

  267Angle: NED and JIM push through the crowd, toward the jail. JIM turns back.

  FATHER LEVESQUE: Father Brown . . . Father Brown . . . ?

  NED tries to pull JiM after him. The OLD WOMAN, who is standing near them in the crowd, shouts.

  OLD WOMAN: Here he is. Here he is. Father Brown!

  The crowd starts pushing FATHER BROWN toward the front of the steps. NED is separated from JIM, looks back at him. JIM is borne back through the crowd, helpless. NED is alone. He looks up at the jail window.

  268Point of View: BOB looking down at him.

  269Angle: NED looks down, then looks around for JIM.

  270Angle: JIM mounts the steps, stands beside FATHER LEVESQUE.


  FATHER LEVESQUE: . . . as there is so much interest, and not sufficient time, we, many years ago, latched on the expedient of letting this honor be awarded by the machinery of chance. . . .

  The YOUNG MONK catches JIM‘S eye, winks.

  FATHER LEVESQUE: But we are very gratified it should fall tonight on the shoulders of a great and a good man, a pious man, one whom we are honored to have with us at this enclave.

  Beat.

  JIM: I, uh, I never won anything before. . . . (Beat.) I'm, I'm really anxious to get back down there, and let the, you know, the Procession . . . go, so . . . uh, you give it to me ‘n’ be assured, you have my complete . . . uh . . .

  The YOUNG MONK leans over to him.

  YOUNG MONK (sotto): The “lottery,” Father Brown . . . (Beat.) You've written of it yourself. . . in your book. . . .

  JIM (sotto): I know I have, but that was so long ago.

  FATHER LEVESQUE: And it is with great happiness that I present to you Father Brown, whom, we may say, the hand of God itself has chosen to deliver this year's sermon on the Miraculous Properties of the Shrine of St. Ann.

  JIM is stunned.

  271Angle: NED points at his wrist. Looks around, disappears into the jail.

  272Angle: JIM watches him, helpless. The expectant townsfolk look up, waiting for JIM to start the sermon. FATHER LEVESQUE and the group at the top of the stairs move back respectfully, to let JIM begin. Beat. JIM looks around, wipes his brow.

  JIM: Ah, you know what. . . I think it's not inappropriate at this point to ask for God's help. . . . (He hangs his head; to himself.) Oh, my God . . .

  273Interior/Exterior: Town Hall—Balcony—Day.

  The SHOPKEEPER and WARDEN have joined the group. As NED enters:

  SHOPKEEPER: I, uh, I'm told that there was some reward associated with the capture of the . . .

  NED brushes past him and the WARDEN.

  WARDEN: We met before, Father . . . ?

  NED: NO, I'm sure that we have not. The other priest will be in momentarily. . . .

  WARDEN: You sure look familiar. . . .

  NED: All priests look alike.

  WARDEN: Uh-huh . . .

  The SHERIFF, who is looking out at the Procession, shushes them. The WARDEN and the SHOPKEEPER look out.

  NED: I'll just wait for the second priest.

  The SHERIFF nods back over his shoulder. NED goes to the wall, eyes the keys, and tries to take them off the wall. The SHERIFF, hearing the keys jingle, turns back. NED waves “It's okay” to the SHERIFF, goes into the cellblock. The SHERIFF waves back, turns back.

  274Point of View: JIM on top of the steps across the street. JIM looks to FATHER LEVESQUE, who nods him to go on. JIM sighs, rubs his hands over his lapels, feels something, takes it out. He looks down at it.

  275Insert: It is the Colt pamphlet which he took from the hardware store.

  276Angle: JIM looks down at the pamphlet.

  277Insert: The pages opening. A chapter entitled “An Encounter with a Bear” the drawing of a Colt and the text below, which reads “Have you ever felt completely alone . . . ?”

  278Angle: JIM looks up. He begins to read the pamphlet to the throng.

  JIM: Have you ever felt completely alone . . . ? Alone in a world of danger, and no one to rely on . . . ?

  279Interior/Exterior: Town Hall—Balcony—Day.

  The WARDEN, SHOPKEEPER, SHERIFF, etc. leaning out of the window. The SOUND of the amplified sermon being carried to the group.

  280Interior: Town Hall Cellblock—Day.

  BOB arranging the pillows on his bed underneath the blanket to resemble his sleeping form.

  281Angle: NED and BOB, both dressed as priests, sneak out of the cellblock. CAMERA FOLLOWS them through the office area where the other men are still listening to the sermon.

  282Exterior/Interior: Town Hall—Balcony—Day.

  283Angle: NED waves “Everything's okay” to the SHERIFF. BOB turns his face away, and they both start out the door.

  JIM (offscreen on loudspeaker): “Danger on every hand, in a world fraught with danger. And at the brink of death, I felt in my pocket and what did I find . . . ?”

  Beat.

  284Exterior Town Square—Gazebo—Day.

  JIM: “What did I find . . . ?”

  He looks down.

  285Insert: The Colt pamphlet. It reads, “What did I find. . . ? My Colt .32 Hammerless Pocket Automatic. Blue or Special Engraved Finish, more gun for the money than . . . “

  286Angle: JIM rubs his forehead. The YOUNG MONK and other priests strain to hear JIM‘S next word.

  JIM: “What did I find . . . ?”

  287/Interior/Exterior: Town Hall—Balcony/Staircase—Day.

  NED and BOB come down the stairs. BOB staggering.

  288Exterior: Town Square—Gazebo—Day.

  At a loss for words. He looks at the audience.

  289Angle—His Point of View: Hundreds of faces turned to him, panorama of faces, the YOUNG MONK, who smiles encouragement.

  290Angle: JIM.

  JIM: . . . Nothing. There's nothing there, it's all in your head. They can take the money from you, they can take the position from you, I don't know, they can whip you . . . people turn their backs on you. Everything happens to everybody . . . you ain't going to find nothing in your pocket that can stave it off.

  291Angle: MOLLY and her LITTLE GIRL beside her listening intently to JIM.

  292Angle: JIM speaking.

  JIM: Nothing can stave it off. (Pause.) Pain. Affliction. We say “power,” power doesn't do it, ‘cause you never have enough. (Pause.) Money, I don't know, do you know anybody has enough? Still trouble befalls us. (Pause.) Everyone has got that sadness in their heart. (Pause.) Some people are meant to be hard. I don't know, it seems they are, we meet them.

  293Angle: MOLLY and the kid, listening.

  JIM (offscreen): Is God good? I don't know.

  294Angle: JIM speaking.

  JIM: All I know, something might give you comfort.. . maybe you deserve it . . . it comforts you to believe in God, you do it.

  295Exterior: Town Square—Day.

  NED and BOB, dressed as priests, sneak out of the jailhouse, BOB concealing his shotgun. They sneak toward the float, past MOLLY, who turns to NED.

  MOLLY: All right.

  NED stops.

  NED: What?

  MOLLY: I don't want your money, take the kid on the Procession, pray for her.

  JIM (offscreen): . . . That's your business.

  296Exterior: Jim on Podium.

  JIM: People have guilty, you know, people have guilty secrets. If that's yours, that you wanna go believe in something, then, then, then, that's not so bad.

  297Interior/Exterior: Town Hall—Balcony—Day.

  The WARDEN, SHOPKEEPER, etc., watch on the balcony.

  WARDEN: . . . that man looks so familiar.

  SHOPKEEPER: Hey, I know what you mean, I have that same coat.

  298Exterior: Town Square—Day.

  BOB edges NED through the crowd.

  MOLLY (to NED): Just, you be careful, and you hold her hand.

  She deposits the kid's hand in NED‘S and nods to him. Goes off.

  BOB: What is this?

  NED: This is our ticket ‘cross the bridge.

  Beat. The two look at each other.

  299Angle: On the top of the platform, near the Shrine, the Procession is forming up. JIM is being congratulated by FATHER LEVESQUE.

  FATHER LEVESQUE (shaking JIM‘s hand): Well, Father, as usual, your presentation is unorthodox, but your theology is impeccable. . . .

  JIM looks out at the crowd.

  The militia, which is starting to congregate, checks identity papers and is moving toward the podium.

  300Angle: JIM, FATHER LEVESQUE, and all who want to congratulate him, as he tries to extricate himself FATHER NOGULICH and the TRANSLATOR.

  TRANSLATOR: Interesting sermon.

  JIM: Thanks, gotta run.

  CAMER
A FOLLOWS him away from the stage, where he runs into NED, who is holding the LITTLE GIRL, and BOB. NED turns him back around.

  JIM: Neddy, we got about ten seconds to get outta here.

  NED pushes him back toward the Shrine. CAMERA FOLLOWS.

  301Angle: Tight on NED and BOB.

  NED: Get inside . . . (Of the shotgun.) Gimme that.

  BOB: There's any trouble, I'm coming out using it.

  NED: . . . there's any trouble, it's too late.

  BOB coughs, holds his chest.

  BOB: You cross me and you go first.

  NED presses him inside.

  JIM: What's he doing here . . . ?

  NED reaches down, tight, on the cabinet below the Shrine, various clothes, etc. NED pushes them aside. BOB jams himself into the cabinet. SOUND of a fanfare. NED looks up.

  302Angle: The Procession is formed; a path is cleared toward the bridge.

  303Angle: JIM and NED and the Shrine.

  JIM: How'd Bobby get here . . . ?

  NED: Shut up and pick it up, we're getting out of here. . . .

  CAMERA FOLLOWS them as they carry the Shrine down the center of the street, the LITTLE GIRL holding on to Ned's cassock. They pass by the SHERIFF, who has just come out of the office, and the WARDEN. The SHERIFF crosses himself, as do the rest of the townspeople, as the Shrine passes. NED and JIM look ahead.

  304Their Point of View: The border. The barrier raising.

  305Angle: JIM and NED.

  JIM: I can't believe, I can't believe this. . . Thank you, God. . . .

  306Angle: MOLLY in the crowds. Crosses herself as the Procession passes. She nods to NED. The Procession approaches the border. NED sees something out of the corner of his eye, half turns.

  307Exterior: Town Hall—Jail—Day.

  Point of View: The armored van pulling up. The SHERIFF and the WARDEN shake hands with the driver, talk with him for a moment, and point back into the jail. The driver nods.

  308Angle: NED.

  NED: Oh, Christ. . .

  The Procession crosses onto the bridge.

  309Exterior: Town Square—Bridge—Day.

  Angle: NED and JIM.

  NED (sotto): Pick it up. Pick it up, Jimmy, let's get out of here.

  JIM (sotto): I'm doing the best I can . . .

  The Canadian end of the bridge coming closer. The Canadian Procession enters FRAME. NED and JIM are all smiles. NED looks back over his shoulder.

  310Exterior: Town Hall—Jail—Day.

  Point of View: The jail. The van parked downstairs. The SHERIFF and the WARDEN still confabbing with the GUARD. The SHERIFF points inside, the GUARD nods, and the SHERIFF, WARDEN, and the GUARD start into the jail.